Admontions, page 2
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Admonitions, page 1 | 2 | 3
In case of fire do not use elevators. Use water Don't call Pluto a dwarf. It prefers "Little Planet"
If it involves a meatloaf and a plunger, don't do it Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.
Friends don't let friends shop drunk If you don't want to wash the dishes do 'em bad the first time.
Don't confuse honesty with a lack of opportunity to steal something big Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut
Do not eat the Danish Let the sermon finish before you cook the missionary
When in doubt, mumble To sharpen a point of view hone it against many others
If you can't build a robot, be a robot -Grandpa The passive voice is to be avoided
Never miss a good chance to shut up Actually, you do have enough time
Never kiss opportunity with a dirty mouth -Russian proverb Don't expect
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got IF ALL ELSE FAILS USE A BIGGER HAMMER
Don't do meth Do not pass go
To be loved, be lovable -Ovid When life gives you lemons, get a new life!
Do not chide me Never test the depth of the water with both feet
When waiting for your ship to come in, don't be at the airport Accept no substitutes
Don't leave home without your nunchucks Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to be one
Avoid cliches like the plague When all else fails, try denial
If all else fails... more duct tape! Don't be hatin'
Don't be worthless Let's never err on the side of caution
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth Assume nothing
Never have a heart attach while playing charades Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more
Don't let school interfere with your education Never second-guess yourself. Well, maybe sometimes
Don't point at crazy people When you're in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut
Never do anything you wouldn't do in a parallel universe Never make someone your priority when you are merely their option
When all else fails, lower your standards Don't climb the ladder of success wrong by wrong
The best way to avoid being disillusioned is to avoid illusions You need to live by the rules so be sure to pick good ones
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