Internet Bumper Stickers®
Admontions, page 2
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In case of fire do not use elevators. Use water Never settle with words what you can settle with a flame thrower
If it involves a meatloaf and a plunger, don't do it If you can't build a robot, be a robot -Grandpa
Friends don't let friends shop drunk Harm none
Don't confuse honesty with a lack of opportunity to steal something big Don't eat your soul to fill your belly
Do not eat the Danish Let the sermon finish before you cook the missionary
When in doubt, mumble To sharpen a point of view hone it against many others
Don't try to decode me When life gives you lemons, get a new life!
If at first you don't succeed, give second base a try Don't call Pluto a dwarf. It prefers "Little Planet"
Don't put old people in ponds If you don't want to wash the dishes do 'em bad the first time.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got IF ALL ELSE FAILS USE A BIGGER HAMMER
Don't do meth Never miss a good chance to shut up
To be loved, be lovable -Ovid The passive voice is to be avoided
Do not pass go Don't breed
Don't poison the rich Don't drink to drown your sorrow. Sorrow knows how to swim.
Do not chide me Never test the depth of the water with both feet
Don't point at crazy people Accept no substitutes
Don't leave home without your nunchucks Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to be one
Avoid cliches like the plague When waiting for your ship to come in, don't be at the airport
If all else fails... more duct tape! When all else fails, try denial
Don't be worthless Let's never err on the side of caution
Never have a heart attach while playing charades Don't be hatin'
When all else fails, lower your standards Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth
Don't let school interfere with your education Never second-guess yourself. Well, maybe sometimes
Assume nothing Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more
Never do anything you wouldn't do in a parallel universe Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good
If you can't take the heat, don't annoy the dragon Don't climb the ladder of success wrong by wrong
The best way to avoid being disillusioned is to avoid illusions Never underestimatew the value of running away
Trust me, abstinence is not 100% effective When you're in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut
Never make someone your priority when you are merely their option Don't let success go to your head or failure go to your heart
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