Modern Thought, page 4
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To err is human, to forgive is not company policy The wheel stops for no hamster
No job is over until the paperwork's done Experience is what helps you recognize a mistake when you make it again
A little pain never hurt anyone Children are our future. Unless we stop them now
If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments Money can't buy you happiness but it'll let you be unhappy in nicer places
A friend is someone who still likes you after they get to know you The quickest way to find a thing you've lost is to buy a replacement
A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist Life without geometry is pointless
Smart is the new skinny You can drink milk from a cup but you can't chop wood with a cat
If the shoe fits, buy it in every color A diamond is forever. And so are the payments
Remember: just one match can start a forest fire. But it takes a whole box to start a camp fire An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true
If we weren't supposed to wear clothes we would have been born naked Anyone who can take over a plane with tweezers deserves the plane
Yesterday is just a memory, tomorrow only a dream, but today was a real bitch Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important
Sweatshops make stuff cheaper Violence isn't the answer, but it's an answer
We must learn from our mistakes of the past to improve our mistakes in the future One good turn gets the most blanket
There's no I in team, but there is in pie Mediocrity: It's easier and you never have to work late
Better half a thought It takes the Village People to raise a child
Paranoia is the best defense If brute force doesn't work, it's not brute enough
Yoga is for posers Too much is never enough
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it Minimalism is for lazy people
Sleep is for the weak All that glitters has a high refractive index
You're only as good as your made up resume says you are Ball in gutter: bad. Mind in gutter: good.
Spandex. A privilege not a right God cannot alter the past. That is the historians' job
It's not the minutes at the table that make you fat, it's the seconds There is nothing so permanent as a temporary solution that works
Teamwork means not having to take all the blame In school: Jock-popular, Nerd-unpopular. Out of school: Nerd-popular, Jock-homeless
Fake is the new real It's not a party until somebody dies
To err is human, to arr is pirate excessive drinking makes the world go round
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