Tribulations, page 1
Tribulations, page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
It's been one of those days all week My 4,895th consecutive day of lowered expectations
Procrastination ate me and won't spit me out Way too tired for all this
I have too many tabs open in my brain Can open. Worms everywhere
I was hoping I'd run out of things to be disillusioned about by now Let's file this under emotionally scarring
This morning was terrific, right until I woke up The chains on my mood swing are ready to snap
Expectation is always my crime, disappointment my punishment If I was as good at remembering as I am at forgetting I could tell you why I brought this up
A day on Venus lasts over 4800 hours the same as a Monday on Earth We're doomed -C3PO
I'm due for some blessings that aren't in disguise If there's a prize for bad judgment, I think I win
This was supposed to be the future Nothing messes up my Friday more than finding out it's only Thursday
OK, time for PLAN B I've only got one nerve left and you're getting on it!
Pardon me, which level of hell is this? If by "happy" you mean clinically depressed... then, yes, I'm happy
I'm the leading cause of everything bad that happens to me I'm already tired tomorrow
I try to watch what I eat but I'm just not quick enough There are some days even my lucky underpants can't help
Your dryer isn't shrinking your clothes, your refrigerator is I get worried if I have nothing to worry about
Ramen noodles taste like payday is a week away some days it's not worth gnawing through the straps
It's always a little later than you think Ahh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again
When I laugh too hard I cry a little in my panties I think, therefore I am depressed
I think I just heard the first thundercrack of the apocalypse Dear medicine companies, that's not what fruit tastes like
Oh, great time for the meds to wear off! I can't bring myself to delete any episodes of Hoarders
When did cake learn to talk, and how does it know my name? I don't want to be here
Oh, no, not another learning experience The first five days after the weekend are the hardest
I've got a lot not going for me I pay a monthly gym membership fee as reminder of my poor decisionmaking
I think therefore I am a nervous wreck these days! I didn't lower my expectations, they crashed on their own
My imaginary friend filed a restraining order against me Today has been the exact opposite of fun
Same circus different clowns I've had a great time but this wasn't it
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