Wordplay
Wordplay, page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Positive Thinking is 90% mental I don't trust atoms, they make up everything
My favorite memories are of the past I used to be a kleptomaniac but I took something for it
Director Department of Redundancy Department Free contradictions, half price!
National Procrastination Day. Date: TBD I finally got a diagnosis! ...Restless Leg Syndrome!
Avoid cliches like the plague Everyone says I'm in denial but really I'm not
Abstinence? I gave it up They say I'm noncommittal but let's just wait and see
Good eye might - Congratulations, you now speak Australian When surveyed, 4 out of 5 older Americans replied, "What?"
There's a time for optimism and a time for pessimism. This is not one of them Never use a word you don't plaintively understand
There's no I in denial Never believe generalizations
Self-Awareness Lessons. Inquire Within I'm sure you hate it when people make assumptions about you
Do not put statements in the negative form
My doctor didn't want to see me gain more weight so I gave him a blindfold Darts: Game of Throws
I'm uncertain about quantum mechanics Logic tells us that dishonesty is still the second-best policy
Rules to learning English: their our know rules Some people are wise but most are otherwise
My mom never loved me as a child. But then, I wasn't there when she was a child Prepositions are not words to end a sentence with
Procrastinators are the leaders of tomorrow This is not a drill
Does the Little Mermaid wear an alegbra? I may not be sagacious, canny, clever or shrewd, but I do own a thesaurus
Game, set, match = tennis. Set, match, run = arson I never apologize. I'm sorry but that's just how I am
I'm not a control freak I just like to show people the right way to do things I've stopped wearing my mood ring and I'm not sure how I feel about that
A good icebreaker is global warming Heisenberg may have slept here
I always start a diet on the same day: tomorrow They call me apathetic but I don't care
I learned two big lessons today. I can't remember the first but the second is "write things down" Eliminate and abolish redundancy
Velcro is a rip off Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use
I advise you to never listen to advice What I if told you that you read this wrong?
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