Wordplay
Wordplay, page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
I learned two big lessons today. I can't remember the first but the second is "write things down" I used to be a kleptomaniac but I took something for it
Never believe generalizations Do not put statements in the negative form
When surveyed, 4 out of 5 older Americans replied, "What?" This is not a drill
Positive Thinking is 90% mental Director Department of Redundancy Department
I'm uncertain about quantum mechanics Everyone says I'm in denial but really I'm not
Abstinence? I gave it up I finally got a diagnosis! ...Restless Leg Syndrome!
Good eye might - Congratulations, you now speak Australian Logic tells us that dishonesty is still the second-best policy
There's a time for optimism and a time for pessimism. This is not one of them Never use a word you don't plaintively understand
There's no I in denial I may not be sagacious, canny, clever or shrewd, but I do own a thesaurus
Self-Awareness Lessons. Inquire Within I'm sure you hate it when people make assumptions about you
Avoid cliches like the plague Darts: Game of Throws
My doctor didn't want to see me gain more weight so I gave him a blindfold They say I'm noncommittal but let's just wait and see
National Procrastination Day. Date: TBD My favorite memories are of the past
Prepositions are not words to end a sentence with Some people are wise but most are otherwise
My mom never loved me as a child. But then, I wasn't there when she was a child Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Procrastinators are the leaders of tomorrow
I never apologize. I'm sorry but that's just how I am I advise you to never listen to advice
A good icebreaker is global warming What I if told you that you read this wrong?
I'm not a control freak I just like to show people the right way to do things Free contradictions, half price!
I've stopped wearing my mood ring and I'm not sure how I feel about that Does the Little Mermaid wear an alegbra?
I always start a diet on the same day: tomorrow Velcro is a rip off
Heisenberg may have slept here Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use
I don't trust atoms, they make up everything Eliminate and abolish redundancy
Game, set, match = tennis. Set, match, run = arson Rules to learning English: their our know rules
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