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In case of fire do not use elevators. Use water I don't trust atoms, they make up everything
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother What I if told you that you read this wrong?
I used to be a kleptomaniac but I took something for it Never use a word you don't plaintively understand
Avoid cliches like the plague My favorite memories are of the past
This is not a drill No prohibiting
Exaggerators Anonymous - A Trillion Strong and Growing There's a time for optimism and a time for pessimism. This is not one of them
Good eye might - Congratulations, you now speak Australian Director Department of Redundancy Department
There's no I in denial AIBOHPHOBIA: the fear of palindromes
Abstinence? I gave it up I will not obsess
Self-Awareness Lessons. Inquire Within Never believe generalizations
Nice dyslexics finish salt I love rebuses
My doctor didn't want to see me gain more weight so I gave him a blindfold Some people have a way with words, others have not way
Do not put statements in the negative form I learned two big lessons today. I can't remember the first but the second is "write things down"
Prepositions are not words to end a sentence with They say I'm noncommittal but let's just wait and see
Darts: Game of Throws Not to brag but I put a puzzle together in 3 days and the box said 2-4 years
Eliminate and abolish redundancy Cashiers are always checking me out
clones are people two I never apologize. I'm sorry but that's just how I am
I dyslexia love Everyone says I'm in denial but really I'm not
A good icebreaker is global warming I'm completely reliable sometimes
Age is only a number, check that, age is a word National Procrastination Day. Date: TBD
I always start a diet on the same day: tomorrow This sticker is 25% funny and 85% bad at math
I'm not a control freak I just like to show people the right way to do things Knit happens
Free contradictions, half price! Rules to learning English: their our know rules
Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left
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