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InternetBumperStickers.com Wordplay, page 7

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If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would choose alive
I used to be angry and miserable, then I turned my life around. Now I'm miserable and angry You say I'm addicted to brake fluid but I can stop any time
I give 100% all week Build a man a fire, you warm him for a day. Set a man on fire, you warm him for the rest of his life.
He who dies last will not be remembered Operators are standing by
Whenever I feel blue I start breathing again Friends are like balloons, they'll drift away if you don't tie a cord around their neck
Do you get enough sleep> Yes No A good name for a cover band would be Duvet
I don't repeat gossip so listen carefully I may be dating myself but only because nobody else will
Whenever I start to feel lazy I take a nap until the feeling passes Everyone should take a lover, it breaks up the monogomy
If we weren't supposed to wear clothes we would have been born naked They call me apathetic but I don't care
Introverts unite, separately, at home What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
People tell me I have lots of potential, but I guess we'll never know now will we? I love polyamory
I work well under pressure as long as I have lots of time and the outcome isn't important I learned two big lessons today. I can't remember the first but the second is "write things down"
My mom never loved me as a child. But then, I wasn't there when she was a child Never use a word you don't plaintively understand
If you have 44 candy bars and eat 40, what are you left with? Diabetes. What do people in China call their good dishes?
He who laughs last thinks slowest "Stop quoting me!" -Anonymous
They're reading a fascinating book in the space station. They just can't put it down Bungee jumping is for suicidal people with commitment issues
Have you heard about this? It's a pronoun to identify a specific thing Apathy solves everything. Or not. So what?
Fighting a war on drugs is probably less scary than fighting a war sober Slept like a baby last night. Woke up every two hours crying
I advise you to never listen to advice I don't think I could live with myself if I was ever cloned
Unlike some of you, I don’t care to be passive aggressive To know yourself, first know others. You're what's left
Cashiers are always checking me out You don't know what you've got until you do inventory
You can't make me feel bad, my self esteem is way too low for that I love rebuses
I've got a perfect body. But it's in the trunk and beginning to smell At least the NSA is one government agency that will listen to you
I don't know how to express myself because I can't seal the box from inside I know I speak for everyone when I say I have multiple personality disorder
I cheat on my breast exams If you are what you eat, I'm going to eat a skinny person
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