Tribulations, page 1

Tribulations, page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
My 4,895th consecutive day of lowered expectations A day on Venus lasts over 4800 hours the same as a Monday on Earth
OK, time for PLAN B This morning was terrific, right until I woke up
I'm due for some blessings that aren't in disguise some days it's not worth gnawing through the straps
Nothing messes up my Friday more than finding out it's only Thursday I have too many tabs open in my brain
If there's a prize for bad judgment, I think I win It's been one of those days all week
I left the womb for this? If I was as good at remembering as I am at forgetting I could tell you why I brought this up
Oh, no, not another learning experience I have been eating boxes of Thin Mints for weeks. They are not working!
Expectation is always my crime, disappointment my punishment We're doomed -C3PO
I think therefore I am a nervous wreck these days! There are some days even my lucky underpants can't help
When I used to daydream about the future, this wasn't what I had in mind Sorry, you are not a winner
Can open. Worms everywhere I've had a great time but this wasn't it
They want you to be afraid Let's file this under emotionally scarring
I try to watch what I eat but I'm just not quick enough If by "happy" you mean clinically depressed... then, yes, I'm happy
I've only got one nerve left and you're getting on it! I'm already tired tomorrow
I was hoping I'd run out of things to be disillusioned about by now Oh, great time for the meds to wear off!
This too shall pass would be nice I get worried if I have nothing to worry about
When I laugh too hard I cry a little in my panties Way too tired for all this
Thought loading. Please wait. Dear medicine companies, that's not what fruit tastes like
I don't want to be here This was supposed to be the future
I think I just heard the first thundercrack of the apocalypse Pardon me, which level of hell is this?
It's always a little later than you think Ramen noodles taste like payday is a week away
I think, therefore I am depressed I've got a lot not going for me
I pay a monthly gym membership fee as reminder of my poor decisionmaking These are hard times for dreamers
Your dryer isn't shrinking your clothes, your refrigerator is The first five days after the weekend are the hardest
I can't bring myself to delete any episodes of Hoarders Reality is ruining my life
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