Tribulations, page 1

Tribulations, page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4
My 4,895th consecutive day of lowered expectations A day on Venus lasts over 4800 hours the same as a Monday on Earth
OK, time for PLAN B This morning was terrific, right until I woke up
I'm due for some blessings that aren't in disguise I've had a great time but this wasn't it
Nothing messes up my Friday more than finding out it's only Thursday Another brilliant mind ruined by higher education
All stressed out and no one to choke some days it's not worth gnawing through the straps
I left the womb for this? I have too many tabs open in my brain
Oh, no, not another learning experience Success requires hard work so there goes that idea
I have been eating boxes of Thin Mints for weeks. They are not working! We're doomed -C3PO
I think therefore I am a nervous wreck these days! There are some days even my lucky underpants can't help
When I used to daydream about the future, this wasn't what I had in mind When did my sixpack turn into this keg?
Can open. Worms everywhere If I was as good at remembering as I am at forgetting I could tell you why I brought this up
They want you to be afraid Some people drain the nice right out of me
If there's a prize for bad judgment, I think I win It's been one of those days all week
I've only got one nerve left and you're getting on it! We're all just helper monkeys for the super rich
Oh, great time for the meds to wear off! Expectation is always my crime, disappointment my punishment
The only thing I never seem to put off is procrastination This too shall pass would be nice
I try to lose weight but it keeps finding me I put in contacts for this?!
We're screwed, with a capitol F Way too tired for all this
I don't want to be here Thought loading. Please wait.
I was happy but you're ruining it! Pardon me, which level of hell is this?
Sorry, you are not a winner Drowning in the mainstream
Relationship Status: My emergency contact is 911 I get worried if I have nothing to worry about
One day I'll buy a plant that has the will to live Dear medicine companies, that's not what fruit tastes like
Some of my worst mistakes were haircuts I replaced my nonexistent sex life with food and now I can't even get into my own pants
I think, therefore I am depressed Well, TODAY was a total waste of makeup
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