Declarations, page 4

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I feel better now that I've given up hope I tried being normal once. It didn't work out
Will work for shoes I don't do Mondays
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right terrorists don't scare me. Somebody seeing my TSA body scan, that scares me.
I don't roll on Shabbas I like big books and i cannot lie
I love you just the way I am Insanity doesn't run in my family, it gallops
I went to the gym but came back because I forgot something... I hate exercise I avoid anything which might contradict my narrow worldview
I'm not overweight, I'm undertall Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me but it will help
I'm not perfect but parts of me are fantastic I'm mad as hell and I'm likely to take it indefinitely
No matter how cynical I get it never seems to be enough I think therefore I doubt
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one. I feel sullied and unusual
It's not denial, I'm just selective about the reality that I accept Not wearing pants
There's nothing passive about my aggression I don't always drink beer, but when I do I think I'm the most interesting man in the world
I'm on the cutting edge of mediocrity I could never run a marathon I couldn't be off my phone that long
I don't make trouble but I know where to find it I was once the world's youngest person
I'm kind of a big ordeal Making it up as I go along
I think I was a king in a previous life because I like people to do what I say First I drink the coffee then I do the things
I was an honor student, I don’t know what happened My alone time is for your safety
I'm on a diet where I eat whatever I want. I'm not losing weight but at least I finally found one I can stay on I don't flirt with disaster, it's more like we're going steady
I'm always in a good mood until I wake up If I ever have an out-of-body experience I sure wouldn't come back to this one
There's no excuse for laziness but I'm looking for one My excercise philosophy is No pain, No pain
I didn't come this far to only come this far my friends are great because with them I don't look like the crazy one
I came, I saw, I want to go home I break for lunch
I wasted my childhood saving Mario's girlfriend I was trying so hard to forget something and now I can't remember what it was
I don't really have an opinion and I wanted to let you know My other pro-vegan bumper sticker is also condescending
I'm training a new human to be a good person, what's your super power? I have a hidden talent and I sure hope I find it
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