Modern Thought, page 2

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Strangers candy is the sweetest The police never think it's as funny as you do
The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off If you're not part of the solution, there's good money in prolonging the problem
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once The remaining work increases as the deadline approaches
When life gives you lemons... shut up and eat your damn lemons! It isn't homework unless it's due tomorrow
Ignorance is just knowledge you didn't know you don't have Alchohol preserves everything but dignity
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. _Will Rogers Exercise, the poor man's plastic surgery
Nothing is impossible when you work for the circus It's easier to resist temptation when you know it'll still be there later
Those who can only spell a word one way lack imagination Coffee is always a good idea
Reality doesn't give a damn about your beliefs No one can make a fool of you. It's a do-it-yourself proposition
It takes a big man to cry but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once
There's always free cheese in a mousetrap A smart lawyer knows the law, a smarter one knows the judge
It's all fun and games until somebody gets the cone The obscure we see eventually. The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer. -Edward R. Murrow
Change is inevitable, progress is optional You can call it karma, I call it a banquet of consequences
When life gives you lemons, hey, free lemons! Brands are for Cattle
Today's greatest labor-saving device is tomorrow Tomorrow is the second day of the rest of your life
There is no such thing as fun for the whole family A hammock is a net that captures tranquility
A closed mouth gathers no feet Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation
Wondering if you're happy is a great shortcut to being depressed The favorite tie attracts the gravy
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional Time is an annoying concept contrived by linear minds
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are -Gore Vidal The cutest kitten has the sharpest claws
Cheese: Milk’s attempt at immortality Mediocre is the new excellent
Suicide: a permanent solution to a temporary problem There's a fine line between caution and paranoia
Anything is possible with the right attitude and some duct tape Friends are god's apology for relatives
Napping can prevent aging if you do it while driving If you can't say something nice you're probably not really trying
Pessimists are just reformed optimists Sometimes you play the game, other times the game plays you
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