Modern Thought, page 3

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Good judgment comes from experience and much of that comes from bad judgment Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it worthwhile
Originality is the art of concealing your sources Opportunity only knocks once. But temptation leans on the doorbell.
No good deed goes unpunished A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way
A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist Good things come to those who wait but bad things show up right away
Tact is for those who lack the wit for sarcasm Being part of the solution is for people not cool enough to be part of the problem
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned A party tonight is better than a party tomorrow night
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit It's only a gambling problem when you lose
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming It's easier to stay out of trouble than to get out
If it fits on a bumper sticker it's not a philosophy If it can't fit on a bumper sticker, it's not a philosophy
Money can't buy you happiness but it'll let you be unhappy in nicer places Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way
There's no I in Team, but there're four in Platitude-Quoting Idiot Happiness is good health and a bad memory
God cannot alter the past. That is the historians' job Friends may come and go but enemies accumulate
the good thing about a fatal mistake is you're certain to not make it again Trying is the first step toward faliure
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand Laughter is the best medicine. That is, after all the real medicines
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example -Mark Twain invite a clown expect a circus
A book makes a chair more comfortable Opposites Attack
Being a grown up should never be more than a part time job A psychotic is a guy who just found out what's going on. -William S. Burroughs
Naps - solving problems since forever Impulse is intuition on crack
Smart is the new skinny If you think money can't buy happiness you're not spending enough of it
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? Perfectionism: A propensity to be displeased with everything
Anything can be funny if it happens to someone else Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance: The 5 stages of waking up Guns don't kill people, it's mostly the bullets
Excuses weigh about 15 pounds Give a man a fish and he'll be, like, WTF?
It's never too late to give up Sitting is the new smoking
Corporations are people too If there's a 50/50 chance something can go wrong, 9 times out of 10 it will
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