Wordplay, page 3

Wordplay, page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8
Know what I like to do? Answer my own questions To err is human, to arr is pirate
Never let it be said that... Don't be condescending (that's when you talk down to people)
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice I'm uncertain about quantum mechanics
The passive voice is to be avoided
You can observe a lot by watching. -Yogi Berra Chemists aren't cremated, they barium
Did you hear the one about the dyslexic who walked into a bra? Nothing's worse then misusing homophones
Having written this, my participle dangled Relish today ketchup tomorrow
I have plenty of self control because I never use any of it Irony is what steel is
Just say NO to negativism I used to be a perfectionist but I'm better now
Eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we may diet Follow that car, Godzilla and step on it!
Stop Vandalism Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems
To prevent headache, do what the aspirin bottle says: Keep away from children Become an editor, enjoy a rewording career
Love thy neighbor but pull down the shade The 2 rules for success... 1. Never tell all you know
The difference between in-laws and outlaws is... outlaws are wanted Avoid being scammed! Send me $5 to find out how
I got my body by doing lots of crunches: Captain and Nestlé Censorship
Memory is the second thing to go. I don't remember what's first I'm not superstitious, that would be bad luck
Obesity is the penalty for exceeding the feed limit Web Designer
Back in school I was voted Most Likely to Cling to Past Achievements I'm not saying you're mean, I'm saying you're average
Drive wrecklessly I love Earth's rotation It really makes my day
Never second-guess yourself. Well, maybe sometimes Eschew Obfuscation
I have an easy way to cut carbs If you know telekinesis please raise my hand
I just can't express how aphasic I am I'd like to have moe self esteem but I don't deserve it
Conspiracy theories are bunk probably started by the government If Satan goes bald there'll be hell toupee
Sharing needles spreads disease: say no to knitting circles Is a Wednesday with no rain a dry hump day?
Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. -Home Simpson I'll start exercising as soon as I get into shape
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